Xyngular. What an awful name. It reminds me of that Xyience company that was popular for like ten minutes in 1999. And they sponsored all the MMA fighters and thought they were really cool. And then nobody bought their products because they were awful. What I’m trying to say is- branding is important. And that’s where we’ll start with Xyngular. We’ll start by making fun of their branding. So let’s talk packaging first, and then formulation, and then save taste for last. Sound good? Cool. So. Xyngualar packaging. Where to begin…
Xyngular Protein Packaging is Awful.
How’s that for a statement right off the bat? Lol. Sure it’s mean and crude, but it’s true. First things first let’s start with the stand-up pouch that it’s in. Everyone hates them except the big execs at these companies, who know they are way cheaper than plastic tubs to ship and to use for their protein powder. But guess what? I hate them. My friends hate them. And everyone my friends know hate them. They are cheap, harder to scoop out of, and just generally make for a cheaper product experience. So there’s that.
Second. Xyngular pouches don’t even look good. They are very clinical and white and plain. The graphics package looks very 2004, with just a random streaking series of green lines on the right side of the pouch. They don’t mean anything. The word ‘Lean’ is running vertically along the side of the pouch, and it’s upside down, at that. It looks atrocious.
The Xyngular logo, and some other unnecessary icons and product info are the only other graphical elements on the front. Nothing about flavor. Nothing about what the product actually does. It’s truly a bad design by Xyngular. Ugh. And the name. Oh the name. Xyngular. It’s SO. BAD. Like. Gag-worthy. But. That’s the packaging side of things. It’s poorly done. But none of that would matter if the product inside is good. So is it? Is Xyngular Lean Protein actually a good product beneath it’s ugly packaging?
What’s In Xyngular Lean Protein?
The answer is quite frankly, no. The product is equally as unimpressive as it’s outer appearance. It is a soy-based, weak, artificially sweetened protein powder that I would seriously never ever choose over the many great protein powders out there. I think this product is very typical of MLM supplement companies. They make products that are cheaply made, so that way they can have these enormous profit margins. It’s classic corporate America. And you want to know the worst part? There’s only 10 grams of protein in here.
Oh but it gets even worse than that.
On their website, Xyngular has an FAQ section that says:
Q: Why does Lean only contain 10 grams of protein.
And you know what the answer is? I almost can’t even believe it, but the ‘answer’ is:
A: We have used the lowest amount of protein possible to achieve optimal muscle protein synthesis, which effectively maintains the low calorie nature.
Gag. Are you KIDDING me with that answer? LOL. Seriously the most pathetic thing I’ve ever read. We used less protein in Xyngular to achieve optimal protein synthesis. It’s sooo bad. So. So bad. This is such a horrible answer that I don’t even know how to respond other than to tell you that it’s just pure baloney. They used less protein so that it costed less to produce. And on TOP of that, they used the worst possible type of protein in the entire world- SOY. Do NOT let anyone tell you otherwise. Soy is the WORST protein source available- girl or guy. Stay clear of it. Unless you enjoy digestive issues and want to mess with your hormone balance, energy levels, and other nightmarish things that soy does to our bodies. So on the formulation side, I’m going to have to give Xyngular an 7/10. It’s a really bad product under the surface AND on the surface. But is there a saving grace to be found wiht the flavor/taste?
Xyngular Lean Protein Tastes Pretty Bad Too.
Maybe I’m just in a foul mood because it’s Monday morning. Maybe I’m still a little hungover from Saturday. Or maybe I’m just a b-i-t-c-h. But one thing I certainly am in addition to all of those, is RIGHT. You guys know I’ve done literally hundreds of these reviews. And you know I’m literally always right about these protein powders. My taste buds are a gift. A special gift that knows what the majority of you guys and gals think will taste good.
So believe me when I tell you- you don’t want to mess with Xyngular. The taste. Is. Bad. I seriously wanted it to be good. I really did. Nobody wants to do a review entirely negative with zero upside. But guess what? That’s what Xyngular is. It’s just bad. I was given the chocolate flavor to try by my friend who is dating a Xyngular rep and she was talking up the taste of Xyngular Lean protein as if it was the most delicious thing in the world. And it’s JUST NOT. It tastes a little bit like a melted stale Clif bar- another of my least favorite products in the world. Why? Because soy. I HATE the taste of soy. I really do. It makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. So while the chocolate flavors are ok, I can’t deal with the fact that the prominent flavor is just SOY. It’s grainy and foul-tasting to me every time.
If you DO like the taste of soy, than you might have a more favorable opinion of Xyngular Lean Protein’s taste. But I had my boyfriend try it too (not knowing a thing about soy or really anything about supplements for that matter), and he turned up his nose as well. So. Two’s a consensus, Xyngular Protein tastes lousy.
Xyngular Lean Protein Review Summary
- Xyngular Lean Protein Packaging: 7.0
- Xyngular Lean Protein Formula: 7.0
- Xyngular Lean Protein Flavor: 7.0
- Xyngular Lean Protein Value: N/A
So. Sigh. It’s tough just ragging on a product from start to finish. (Just kidding it’s really easy), but the fact of the matter is that Xyngular Lean protein is just a bad protein powder. It’s low quality, tastes bad, and looks bad. What more do you need to know?*